OMgoodness! Why oh why do we add so much pressure onto ourselves to be more productive or more efficient? On the contrary of what people might think, perfectionism is a real thing. However, the meaning of perfectionism is not in the word perfect, more like, perfectionists put on themselves so much pressure to be efficient and educated and if they forget something, they think they have failed.
So I am wondering why I felt so compelled to get showered and put on daytime clothes, rather than just having my coffee in my pajamas and writing all comfy.
My first thought was a question actually, Why does this bother me? To get dressed I mean.
Is there A reason I would even need to think that getting dressed was a weird thing to do on a Sunday?
WHAT THEN…
That saying “in the eyes of the beholder” is very true. There is no perfect, only a lack of confidence in ourselves and what we think we don’t know.
Some how along the way, staying home and staying in your pajamas meant one was comfortable in their own skin and in their own environment. It also allowed me to ask myself, How would just being comfy in my pajamas and not being busy feel? Why do I think I need to do this in order to have the feeling I want? What feeling do I want?
I want the feelings to be relaxed, calm, peaceful, stress free, and positive.
I recently posted a saying from Mark Manson’s book, ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck‘ ;
Wanting a positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.
(Manson, pg.9)
I recently had a conversation with someone about just this topic.
He was like,
“you keep telling me that. That I need to change my thoughts. But I how do I do that? I don’t know what makes me happy.”
I have a habit of saying its what we think, and we need to change the way we think. All or nothing thinking leaves us with very little movement.
How though? was the question.
I don’t know what to do. I feel stupid.
Perfectionism? What is it?
If someone believes something to be true how do we change our mindset to think something else? We feel we have tried and tried so many different ways and we still don’t understand how to snap out of the funk of negative thinking or overthinking. We then start to worry about others and their opinions and the feeling that your best is not good enough.
Self Awareness is Key
Well, I want to be able to feel inspired and sit and blog because blogging makes me feel relaxed and happy, so I will do this. I woke up with huge, I mean HUGE bags and dark circles under my eyes, so I decided that when I looked at myself I had negative thoughts, so I washed my face and put on my timeless serums, and added my cover-ups, and blended it all in. No mascara, just the bags and dark circles since this was the issue. And you know what? I felt immediately better about myself and my mood shifted to positive.
Anxiety or Stress
When feeling anxiety and stress and relating it to perfectionism, we can get scared of falling into a category of average and that average is just somehow not good enough.
Yet , there are many experiences and opportunities we can miss out on when we do not stop and just focus on being OK and less nervous.
Low self esteem and depression are preventing growth which sure doesn’t help productivity.
When we hyper focus, which i still tend to fall into, I find myself running out of time and important items are getting missed. The problem is I tend to struggle with the what matters and what doesn’t scenario. I guess as I say I am a recovering perfectionist, I say recovering because I am still working on myself. I can seem like I am procrastinating yet I just feel overwhelmed and I it really is on me, isn’t it.?
I used to say that I sucked at so many things. Instead of focusing on what I do know.
So focus on what you do know and what you are passionate about.
Make Sure…
- When making a mistake do not back down. Do not stop trying because you start thinking what for? I would fail at this and so I better not try again.
- I want to point out even now I still have to make a conscious decision and effort to keep trying. I like to be reminded of the good things and of challenges I have overcome. I am learning to embrace decisions I have made and remain true to myself and my instincts.
Trust yourself
compromise with yourself and those around you, and remind yourself that getting it done is the first step. Be satisfied with that. Give yourself permission to be OK. Trust your gut.
There is no such thing as perfect and learning to be OK with who we are is only half the battle.
In the meantime, stay real, stay positive and never give up!
