Like oh my Gawd. 
I say, OK people lets stay positive and let us get going and show up every day.
But honestly, I do not know how to f**king do it. OK?
Like, crap.
I literally went and did 2.5 hours of weeding at a friend’s place, came home, and wasted 4 hours in my room laying on my bed with a headache and binge watched Shameless on Netflix. Excellent series btw!
So seriously though,
I was saying to my mom this morning, I sometimes just feel alone. I feel I think that I am doing things all alone and it is very frustrating when that happens. I find myself getting overwhelmed and getting frazzled. The more frazzled I feel the less I do and am all over the place, getting nothing really accomplished.
My son says good morning mom, how are you? I tell him mostly fine just feeling in this slump. He replies with the “no hate mom, but exercise. Exercise helps that chemical get released. There is always time for a workout.” I then started with …but….
There ya go. Using the word ‘but’. 
You do know that when using the word ‘but’ right after a compliment or suggestion, completely disregards the compliment and suggestion?
“You did such an amazing job painting, but you forgot you’ll have to redo this one whole area.”
I find it interesting how it is easy to write and talk about what needs to happen or how the re framing your thinking helps and how I am going to do these things in order to stay in a positive frame of mind and then when I actually try to implement what I say I need to do I can honestly tell you that it is not that easy and I am just so done with this negative mentality I have creeping in.
Now here lies the problem for me.
I can feel frustrated and I can voice that with the frustration I logically know what I need to do to stop being frustrated, yet the biggest obstacle is stepping out of that.
I am showing up, I am trying to figure out the why. Why is procrastination is evident and some of the biggest mistakes I make when trying to re-frame my thinking are below. Growth Mindset is feeling uncomfortable and I am reminding myself that every time I get into that negative head-space, I am challenging myself to grow past it. If I do not have to have everything organized to get started, it is OK.
Brene Brown said that perfectionists are created with the beliefs are that if you try and be and look perfect you would mot have to experience the feelings of judgment, blame or shame. Click here to view her article on OWN with Oprah. Love both these women and their insights are amazing.
Beliefs are thoughts we think to be true and beliefs can be changed.
IE something in our childhood says we are not good enough and then we continue to believe that we are not good enough and then do not even get started. Our brain is designed to keep us safe, and so if we continue to stick with the same belief system then we do not have to take risks. Our brain is going to stay with what it knows and if our brains believe there to be any type of danger or risk, the fight or flight instinct kicks in and can prevent us from moving into a different belief system.
It does takes repetition and continuous practice I order to reframe thinking. I procrastinate because I can get in my own way. If I think that if cannot do it the right way or complete it from beginning to end right away why bother. It is much easier for me to say I am such a procrastinator compared to I tried my hardest and I just was not able to do it.
I mean honestly, I like feeling good. I do not want to feel any pain, and so to avoid the pain, like the reason I avoid seeking out the things that I desire and create new habits is because those things are overridden by my subconscious want to avoid any pain of not succeeding and what other people will think.
Here are my biggest mistakes that get in my way sometimes
1. Learning how to be vulnerable. And learning how to get into a growth mindset. I need to not care so much about what other people think especially if I am learning and growing emotionally. Others opinion is just that, other opinions.
2. Not rewarding myself emotionally, and did I show up for myself today, did I try something new, or hard, have a goal. Like a strength-based goal.
3. I am strong and emotionally I can trust myself to handle challenges. Stop judging myself, was this a good decision or a bad decision. With a growth mindset I will achieve so much more then just thinking in such a ridged way.
4. Being scared to move forward in the growth mindset instead staying in the fixed mindset. All or nothing thinking. Need it now, non patience.
Literally; Have a growth mindset about growth mindset.
Getting out of my own way. Being attached to the result.
5. Over complicating things. I just need to learn by doing and keep trying and showing up. This is a constant process and I need to keep practicing.
Action creates clarity, its about effort, not always the result.
In school we have professors and assignments holding us accountable,
now that we are out of school, without a goal and effort towards the goal we have no deadline, and it ends up in inaction.
So, practice, practice, practice, 
I have said this before. We need to learn and continue to step outside the box and not punish ourselves for not being successful the first time around. I know it is OK to have the slump slope and so, I finally started with small goals and I will continue to praise myself for showing up and trying every time.
In the meantime, stay real, stay positive and always show up for yourself.
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