OK so I turned 50 last week. I did not write in my Blog because it was my birthday on Sunday and why break tradition where I decided that I would only do what I wanted that day. And I didn’t feel like writing.
So, I didn’t. 
This week though, I thought wt*? As this is quite a topic for many of you who fall into my new age bracket. The whole what have I accomplished, what now, and
what do I still have to do? 
I have read women writing about the fear of turning 50, what happens next? There are many things that happen next, however, even though, our bodies are changing, the growth mindset and maturity that transforms us is still a choice. Here are my views on some of the most talked about reasons to the dread of 50+, and quick response to my way of dealing with them.
My whole life I have been hard working. Never super athletic but had a body like I was. I was strong, felt strong, and physically had tons of energy. As I started moving into my late 40’s I started to notice a change.
Our bodies become memories of our past. 
So, let’s talk about the whole bodies changing piece for a minute. For many of you younger readers, your bodies are still in the fresh, firm stages and duh, of course, you are younger. Yet, as we age, different things start to happen. Duh again, you are getting older.
In my 40’s I had so many revelations and as I learned how to be a newly single mother and run a house by myself. Start a new career and really start to explore who I was and what I had to offer the world. I found life exciting again, an adventure. I felt independent and because I could make all the decisions for myself and the boys, I felt that choice created stress relief and happiness. This in turn helped me build my confidence and increase my ‘can-do’ attitude.
Yet my body had scars of my past. My club foot when I was younger, small pocks vaccine, wider hips and belly pooch from having 2 children to full term. My 40’s helped me around body image attitudes, and I had my affirmation ACCEPTANCE tattooed on my arm helped me remember.
And then, age 48 and my first postmenopausal hot flash! At first they were very few and between. By the time I was 49, the hot flash was given the new name of “body of fire”. Of course, a hot summer day does not help. 
Now I have great tools to manage hot flashes and tons of funny moments as I drip sweat and go beat red. A part of new growth is to learn how to eat better, exercise better, and have a healthier attitude, rather than a doomed to get gross attitude.
More introverted or “chill” when the new era hits
My 20’s and 30’s were a whirlwind of changes and a new life, newly single with young children. My 40’s were an adventure of self exploration, self awareness, overcoming challenges and diversity, working 3 jobs, multitasking, volunteering, building…on and on.
Now my 50’s. Its true when we say we want to start to enjoy the fruits of our hard work. Its all about the journey right? I find that as I move into the next era, I am becoming who I really am. I was talking with my girlfriend the other day, we said that honestly, I just want to breathe. I want to not think I have to do something because of someone else, but rather do the things that really make me happy, because in the end, happiness is the reason to be.
The darned bucket list
I have an ongoing list. Some are the general to do stuff, projects in the yard, on the house, fixing things etc. Then there is the Bucket List item. Usually they are things that you go out of your way to do because you’ve thought about them. Anything, from reading a book from cover to cover in one swoop, to tandem skydiving, to walking a skywalk glass attraction.
I found that turning 50 added a tint of its “crunch time”. If nothing is planned for retirement, the bucket list may stay in the underwear drawer. We all have different circumstances and different backgrounds, education, fortune. We do create our own destiny though, and I have choice as to how I want mine to go. I may not achieve everything, I will though, have a plan and somethings to look forward to.
So confidence, self esteem, and knowing yourself better
Always thinking, how can I do better? Is it OK to have an opinion about something but do nothing about it? Or not do your part. I know that at 50 I have done plenty. I know I am old enough now, to tell others about things I have accomplished. I must practice all the time the different mindset theory. My self esteem is not crushed as easily as in the past.
I will continue to educate myself and laugh at my gullibility instead of thinking it was a flaw. I know myself better and I realized I was not perfect and that perfect is in the eyes of yourself. I will continue to not buy plastic bottles, recycle what I can at home, compost and use energy efficient house related items. I will blog about my life, my mistakes and what I am trying to do to move forward with a positive attitude and teach others that perseverance, resiliency, and acceptance are key. And
Because happiness makes me feel good inside.
Lets face it, it is only us that cares that we are aging
Whoa the big 50! Then there is the; age is “just a number”. It is just a number, yet the realization that half your lifespan has passed, is the realization that there is no time to waste for the next half. I think we like to magnify the issue and give it substance, so it does not appear real. I think we get used to the idea of being 50+ because we cannot do anything about it, so, why freak out.
In the end, if I can pass the information onto my boys, or anyone else for that matter, have self awareness as they experience life, I believe when something comes up, their recall memory can retrieve some of the new information that allows them to have a different mindset and they can make a decision to help them even if they may not understand certain concepts because they haven’t themselves experienced it yet.
In the meantime, stay real, stay positive, always show up. Cheers
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