Hi Guys! This is crazy. I want so much to be able to share what perfectionism feels like and share what actively practicing strategies to overcome perfectionism looks like. I also would like to connect with ya all about perfectionism.
If one looks up on Google ~ perfectionism ~ Much information pops up and most of the first articles come from psychology and medical type sites. A verywellmind.com is a great resource for any mental health questions and for information.
I want to share what goes through a perfectionists mind and how one might process these different strategies. I for sure know that everyone reacts a different way so I am definitely not saying that what works for me will work for you. I hope to share the thought processes that go through a recovering perfectionist mind.
What I want you to know is that when you read my information and my stories I am telling you how I use these great websites and all their information to help me find strategies that work for me. I am authentic and want to be relatable to you. If I practice I will share. I hope you will get something from it whether it is courage or validation.
It is not easy to be self aware.
It is not easy to be self aware and do nothing about it.
My son said to me the other day; Mom, don’t be down about a person who literally calls you to know what to do about a situation because they like what you do or they wouldn’t be calling you to ask. Mom, don’t think you need to be them when they literally want to be you. Believe in yourself.
I do son, I do…
He replies with: “Believe in yourself more!”
So that brings me to Envy. What does envy mean to you?
Envy is when we don’t have something that we desire that someone else has.
Jealousy is when we have something and its threatened by someone else.
Resentment stems from envy and jealousy. I realized that it really stems from my own value in my self worth. I used to wonder why resentment took up so much of my energy. I would think about all the things I did without or the things that I wanted. It literally just brought me down. I think its human nature to have one or a all of thee things at one point in our lives. It is just what we choose to do with them that makes the difference.
When I think of social comparison and envy, I think why? Why do I feel this? Its not that I am ungrateful of the things I have in my life. I am proud of who I have become. So why then do these feelings of wonder creep up when a friend says or shows me their good fortune.
While I feel happy for my friends, those feelings of self regret are there, and I start to get frustrated. It can be a constant battle of deep inner thinking as each thought trickles into another. As I tone down my frustrations in myself for thinking I didn’t do enough and that somehow I am supposed to be at a certain place in my life and I am not. I have to remember that one thing,
Who says?
I find a strategy that works for me is finding acronyms that will fit for that moment. When my mind starts moving towards envy, I remind myself that I have a different life and I have accomplished so much within my means.
I am authentic and speak my truth.
I am self aware and willing to make adjustments where negative thinking comes to play.
Practice doesn’t make perfect, but definitely makes better
When I say practice, I mean practice what we say when learning how to change your way of thinking, we will have slip-ups and so practicing with people who know you are trying to change are willing to forgive easier then a stranger or boss. Practice in a safe space with people you trust. Your reaction is based on what you think. Your emotions are based on what you think. Our emotions dictate how we react so changing how we think is the way to go.
I can honestly say that when I have my own frustrations with my own life, it is harder to hear the successes of my friends. When I am feeling happy and successful in my own life hearing my friends talk about theirs, is easier.
Now I love it when my friends are doing well. Of course I want them to be happy. Being around people who are happy makes me happy and then it just continues from there. Positive thinking brings positive circumstance.
So with this post I really just wanted to remind myself and you that we can be frustrated and have envy but not let it rule our lives. That perfectionism is not who we are. Its a thinking pattern we can break.
In the meantime, stay positive, have courage and never give up!
