OK all you have to do is type in crossroads in Google and a bunch of advice comes up. I mean all of us have different ideas and different goals. We also have had different experiences that have formulated how we process decisions as they come up.
Yes we can all change and yes things can change.
I find that every few months I get in a state of mental block. I get all gung ho at the beginning of my plan. I have lists and a timeline, an energy surging through me. I feel a sense of confidence and enthusiasm where I think, no sweat, I am determined and I’ve got this!
THEN….
Something happens that changes this. Usually at the beginning it is something small. Such as, I had a meal plan for the week and felt all organized but then I forget to take the meat out of the freezer and I am running out of time to cook, so scramble to find an easier dish.
or
I finally find the time to sit down on my computer to work on my blog, I have it all written up and about to upload some pictures to try and make the post more appealing and does it work? no, so I am spending many hours of the same day just trying to make the post upload and then get frustrated and just post without a picture. I in the meantime have given up time that I had planned for something else and I am still no further ahead then I was in the first place.
Small stuff right? Yup and I can get through that.
The thing is, for awhile it works. For awhile I can cope and struggle and power through so to speak. I am not happy though. I am emotional and irritable, and even worse I am so indecisive. It becomes a balancing act, between emotional well being, physical wellbeing, and the rest of your life.
So symptoms of indecisiveness for me are:
1.fear
2.perfectionism
3.impatience
4.responsibility
5.judgement
Now I like to think that I have the ability to think for myself and that I am proud of all the things I have accomplished up to now.
So why, then with some bigger decisions am I having a tougher time and how to know to trust myself to make them?
I myself like to be in control, yet when the decision is hard, I find myself wanting someone else to take control. This seems to stem into I do not want to be responsible for anything negative that stems from my decision, so if I make the wrong one, I will have lost control. However, if I cannot trust myself in making the right decision for myself, and need others approval or help in the decision making I am letting them take control for me, they are in a sense taking over my opportunities and my actions because it becomes about them not me.
Only you can make decisions for you.
So I asked my son, what makes you indecisive? his answer, “I don’t know.”
classic indecisiveness, right? or wrong, what is it that he needs, to want, to know why?
I tell myself all the time. Be grateful, have faith in yourself. I tell my friends, be proud of yourselves.
Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.
I am currently using all these strategies. Sometimes all at once sometimes once at a time. I just have to remember that I am worth and deserve happiness and success. It is up to me and it is my life that I am in control of. I am grateful for the opportunity to have freedom of choice, and will continue to try and never give up.
So I have decided to to stop trying to decide.
Lets face it, we all have tried to make our plan and then we talk about those dreams and then how we are never going to achieve them. This is such negative thinking. If I am putting to much pressure on myself then I will not take the time to think about why I want to make the decision in the first place. So I say stop putting too much pressure on yourself and calm the heck down.
Need to do the scary stuff
This is another challenge for me. One I strive to follow through with, but boy it can be hard and really the root of my indecisiveness. I have to tell you first hand, In order to have growth you must do something new even if it scares you. If we live in safety all the time, we will not find the courage to trust our “gut” or like I say intuition. Hence, why I am still blogging even though I have nothing to offer yet other than a good read.
Remember to keep thinking
All good to trust your gut, however I know for a fact there has been times where, I need to have thought out the options first. This allowed trusting the gut on which was the better option after, easier. So try and remember the times where you had success with a decision you made in the past that made you feel confident and trusting. Remembering your successes no matter how small is a great way to give yourself that momentum you might need.
Visualizing your dreams or the end results of options
I like to start at where do I want to be and work backwards. If I were to say I need to work like a dog so I can retire by 60 but not really know how much more work I actually have to do to get there. So I say, I would like to retire by the time I am 60 and so what do I need to do to get there without burning myself out. I really really believe in balance and striving for that is reason to stay motivated for me.
I believe that I will get where I need to be when I visualize what it looks like, feels like, sounds like. 
Take some time and get yourself empowered. Think about things that make you happy and visualize yourself in it, feeling it. If it can be dreamt, it can be fulfilled.
Conclusion... I know it can be tough out there. Social media and opinions, how to know which one to listen to and what advice works and where you think you’ve made a good decision and then someone else say “What! Why’d you do that?” Now you’re thinking, oh my, why did I do that, I thought it was a good decision at the time or oh my, I’m stupid, or I’m an idiot, or I’m so gullible. This is all followed by excuses as to why you have not taken the initiative.
In the end, whatever the reason, whatever the excuse, if it is negatively impacting our lives, it is up to us to consciously make a shift. And… and look for support wherever we can find it for ourselves.
In the meantime, stay real, stay positive, have courage and be kind.
