Hey
OK good morning! So, I’m on my way down island and had this question looming in my mind.
“When does one not suck it up anymore?” I am referring to anyone, such as, your boss, a parent, or even among your friends. It could even be your kids for that matter. You know I always believed there comes a point where enough is enough. I think everything needs to have balance and when I feel stressed or feel elevated, I realize that my life is out of balance and something is missing.
So then I start to analyze what it is. Where is my life out of balance and why am I feeling elevated? I am a single mom, I’m turning 50 this year and I find myself in many situations over the last month or so just trying to keep a balance among home, workplace, friendship and responsibility, as well as my own personal life. I find it interesting because I think everyone has that feeling, Ok maybe not, and I am somewhat generalizing right now, not everyone has the feeling of stress and they have time because they don’t have certain obligation’s to do certain things. They go ahead and are working extra hard working extra hours because they can and because they have the time to do so.
I’m a little envious and then, there’s… you know… myself, who is trying so hard to find balance, but not finding enough time for it.
Suck it up Buttercup
I am really not a fan of that phrase. I honestly know that in life, all areas, there will be times that we have to have an “inside voice” and keep our thoughts to ourselves. There is enough, negativity in society. People all around us, including myself make judgement, even when we don’t think we are. These internal judgement come from the information we see in front of us without any inquiry. I noticed also that we don’t have as much tolerance anymore. I am not talking about having patience. Like, patience is really the ability to not freak out and remain calm. It isn’t easy and not everyone can willingly maintain being calm in trying conditions. However, having tolerance is the willingness to put up with differences and accept others in all our inconsistent elements, which really, just happens less and less.
Then what do we do?
While I am in my frustration, I am thinking about what everyone else around me might want. Because I am only thinking it, no one really knows. So, how is someone else supposed change how to act towards me, if they have no idea what I am thinking? BE DIRECT! Really? Like seriously? Ok some of you might say, sure Kellie, what the heck is the big deal. Say what’s on your mind. The thing is, I am not good at it, so when I practice, my deliverance still needs to be tailored. Watch your words, they become actions.
OK so what does that mean?
Usually when someone asks me to do something, and I have time and the ability, I do it. I don’t question exactly the reasoning in the moment. When I initially accept the responsibility no matter the degree, I am content to do so and do so at the best of my skill. All of a sudden I will be asked why I am doing what I am and I then question myself. Instead of holding my ground, there have been times where I cave and agree with others to save face or avoid conflict or avoid hurting their feelings or disappointing them. OK back on track, what does this mean, where do I need to suck it up?
Actually, you don’t have to suck it up if it makes you unhappy.
I know I need to look at the bigger picture. My boys are going to leave the nest and I am working for retirement. I want to be happy, authentic, learn, and be ok with who I am and enjoy the journey. When I have too many people giving me their opinion I start to forget and loose mine. When I start to feel that frustration and it goes to anger and it’s like I’m mad at everyone, I have to remind myself that I am my own worst enemy. Like dominos, my thoughts flow into a bunch, and I start to get elevated and flustered. That follows with brain fog because I am not thinking clearly. Remind myself again…
Process
Just breathe
Be strong
I am remembering to do what makes me happy. I keep slipping up, however as I practice, I am quicker on my decision making and clearer on my opinions. I hold on to what resonates with me and holds true to my values. I will continue to practice my deliverance so that it doesn’t come across phony and unauthentic.
Stay with me, learn with me, I’ll have more to say, as I practice. Stay real, cheers!
I believe that we need to live by the same rules like when you start saving some money. Pay yourself first, it doesn’t have to be a lot. Don’t apologize for your actions like you say “nobody knows what you are thinking or feeling.” As long as it makes sense to you, you are ok keep smiling and work on your self. I will be learning with you. You shouldn’t have to suck it up Ever !!!